Hey Reader,

I’m going to be radically transparent with you. These last two months have laid me bare. 😬

Getting cancer again knocked the wind right out of me. Finding myself back in the 🇺🇸 getting treatment, away from my husband and daughter so soon after going into remission had me flat OUT.

I was devastated.
I felt sorry for myself.
I cried.
I screamed and hurled curse words at God/the Universe. (I am sure they were met with chuckles. The kind that a parent might have for a toddler having a tantrum.)

My ego was severely bruised.

In part because I knew this meant that there was a whole lot more healing and learning that I have to do - and the sooner I scraped myself up off the floor and willingly opened up to the lessons in store, the better.

It took me about a month before I was able to even consider the work.

And I let myself take that time.

Because manifesting healing doesn’t happen from suppressing feelings and only allowing “shiny, happy, people” energy. ✨
​You have to let your truth be felt and experienced - good and bad. That’s authenticity. That is the highest frequency you can vibrate.

So I was patient with myself.

I leaned into the pain and let it tell me what I needed to know. Knowing that there were lessons for me helped me move past the hurt, anger and bewilderment.

I’ve gone all in on a mission to get closer to my real self.

🕊️Softening into more authentic expression.

🌀Deepening my relationship with myself and strengthening my connection with the Universe.

💫Transforming, beyond anything I could have even imagined. This transformation is upending my inner realm, whereas my first bout of cancer was more externally focused.

🪞Undoing the years of being someone else for other people, of acting in ways I thought others expected me to, of playing the parts I felt I ought to play.

To be honest, coming out of cancer the first time, I was playing parts too - parts that I thought others might expect of me, reflecting back what I wanted others to see. 🫣

But you know what? I am not doing that anymore. This is me. This is the me that you get!! 💁‍♀️

I want to share what I've been excited about and digging into behind the scenes - not at all what you’d expect!

• 🔮Developing my psychic gifts with tarot and automatic writing, and incorporating these gifts into my work with my coaching clients for some really powerful sessions.
• 💃Reawakening the creative energy in me that was stifled out through years of self-suppression, through writing, dance, baking and cooking.
• 🧘‍♀️Healing my nervous system with yoga, rest, and other practices TBD.
• 🧐Looking to the future with curiosity and excitement.
• 🌿Letting my intuition guide my healing path: expanding into total healing vs. cancer-focused.

I am shedding the aspects that no longer serve and becoming exactly who I was put here to be. After 44 years on Earth I realize that by following my curiosity and interest, I can't screw that up.
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Over the next many weeks, I’ll be sharing my journey with you. This isn’t just about healing from cancer, this is about how we show up in the world. I have no idea where this journey will lead 🗺️— but I know it will be juicy AF. 🍊
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From here on you can count of me showing up with more authenticity and bringing the fresh insights I gain along the way.

So now a question for you ... who are you showing up as?
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XO
Torva

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